Mitt Romney Selects Donald Trump for Vice President

Presumptive Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney has selected Donald Trump as his running mate.  Just one hour prior to the controversial decision, Romney appointed Trump to lead his VP search committee with instruction to select the "most qualified and attractive" candidate for the job.

According to a top Romney aide who shall remain anonymous (first amendment right), Trump called Romney back an hour later to inform him that the decision had been made and that he has selected himself for the position.  Asked why he selected himself, Mr.Trump replied "Well his criteria was the best qualified and attractive person as his running mate, and after a thorough brainstorm - it became clear to me that there is only one person in America who fit that Bill and you're looking at him. " Due to fear of losing his two strongest voting blocks, white males and very rich white males, Romney grudgingly agreed to run with "The Don."

At a hastily scheduled news conference, Romney put the new "dream team" in perspective; noting that "Donald and I are very rich and we both obviously enjoy firing people very much, so we make a marvelous team to take on the Kenyan occupying our White house." Pausing for a moment, Romney seemed overwhelmed with emotion, and as he wiped tears from his face, he lead team Romney in a singing "America the Beautiful."